Do you ever think about me?  Do you ever wonder what I’m doing, how I’m doing?  Do you even care?  Do you ever come across something during the day that reminds you of me?  Does passing familiar places make you think about us?  Do you ever think about us?  Do you ever just want to pick up the phone and talk to me?  Do you ever just want to text me?  Does it bother you that we don’t talk anymore?  Does it bother you that I’m not in your life?  Do you even care?

I want to be like you.  I want to not even think about any of those things.  I want to  sleep though an entire night.  I want to stop waking up having mild anxiety/panic attacks.  I want to stop waking up feeling like my heart just can’t beat properly.  I want to go a week without crying.  I want to not care about us anymore because I know that us will never happen again.  I want to stop feeling like I’m not enough for anyone.  I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.  I want to stop being sad and angry and hurt, bitter, torn, broken, defeated, and let down.

Do you know what that feels like?

Lisa xo