First of all, what do you think of my posts is just ‘what you think’ or maybe an assumption (well this doesn’t mean to stop you from not doing so heheh). But the picture is precise. This is like a new wardrobe for me to look up every day ^^

I don’t share EVERYthing to EVERYone as I am secretive (sort of) & I tend to keep my life privately (only to those who really DEAR to me knew it). I’ve never wanted to get an attention from EVERYone in this world as I always stand ‘the closest shall has the speciality’. Meaning to say, if you want to know me better, be close to me or else you’ll only see what i chose to show/post & whatnot.

Blogging –-

I’ve been keeping it to myself that one day I’ll have a blog. Blogging is not just to open up myself to EVERYone, again, here is just to share about what’s going on & the important things that I want to deliver. Though I’m blogging, the private part of my life will always remain as my privacy. Know the limits when you share something because the whole world is watching & DON’T forget to RESPECT too *cheers.

Till then,

Lisa xo

It’s only been a few month, but it feels like forever.  Maybe because we really ended earlier than our ‘official break up’.  Still, it’s hard to remember anything about you now.  I don’t know what your voice sounds like anymore.  I can barely remember your face or scent.  Your smile is faded in my mind and your louder than life laugh is muted.  I can’t place any feelings with what memories I can still recall between us.  It’s almost as if I can’t really remember our relationship.  You would think that after years I’d still be able to remember something… but I can’t.

Most people think that it’s hard for me to open up and commit because I was so hurt about our breakup, but that’s only partially true.  I hurt you.  I made my choice and left you before you decided we couldn’t be saved and that’s why ‘getting back in the game’ is so hard for me.  I don’t want to go through that again.  I don’t want the power to hurt someone, who loved me so much, so badly that they could hate me.  Like you do.

So today, seeing a part of you, I am beginning to understand that I am healing. I was scared that I had lost my chance at love, that you were supposed to be the one for me. By not choosing you and getting broken up with, I would be destined to end up with no one. I know now that isn’t true.  I have learned that in order to love another so deeply, you truly have to love yourself first, so that’s what I’ve been working on without even knowing it.  I know now that our love was real, but only temporary.  You are growing into the person that you were meant to be and I am doing the same, but we were never meant to grow together.  I get that now and I am ok because I’m starting to really like me.

“…Maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future…”  I can finally say now that this chapter, your chapter — my longest, most innocent, and first, is closed.  I can finally forgive myself and go on.

Lisaxo