Hi guys! How have you been? I hope everything is fine on your side. If not, well….. repeat after me;

Everything is going to be okay.

If it is not today, tomorrow will be a better day.

Anyway, I hope it is not too late to wish all of my Muslim readers a Happy Eid Mubarak! Due to the virus outbreak, I guess we all can to agree that Eid this year is a lot different than the Eid we’ve had before. But nevertheless, it is for the greater good and besides, spending Eid in quarantine is not that bad! In fact, I feel like it is a blessing in disguise.

Well, I have a bunch of pending assignments that I have to do but as of now, I’m paying it no mind (which is bad, I know). I promise I’ll get on to it soon! It’s not like I have that much time left anyway so yeah, tick tock tick tock – get to work Lisa!

Anyway, I have a question ; have you guys ever thought about self love?

I think everyone understands how hard it is to love yourself. To feel confident in your own skin, to be able to accept your pimples, your freckles, your stretch marks, your uneven skin tone, your little round nose, your eyebags, your dark circles, you flabby stomach, your non-existent thigh gap, your undone brows and so so much more, all those flaws you see everyday in the mirror. we think that by now we’d get use to them because we see it, everyday, but we’re wrong. The more I stare at them, the more I just hate it. The more i critic the way I look, the more self conscious I get, the more insecure I feel day by day. Loving someone else is so much easier than loving yourself and why is that? Maybe because just like us, we don’t see them like how they see themselves. We look past their imperfections, we look at how cute their little round nose is, how those dark circles just shows how hard they’re working their butts off. We just love them too much to even notice the physical flaws

But as time goes by, the older I get, the more self loving I am. the more appreciation I have for myself, for the time I spend by myself. As much as i love having accompanies, I love some me time too. You don’t need anyone to define your happiness, you don’t need any other human being to make you feel happy. If you don’t feel happy when you are on your own, what makes you think these people can feel that hole in your heart. It is okay to be alone sometimes, it is okay to enjoy solidarity. it is okay do things on your own, it is okay to be independent. Make yourself happy first. Make a cup of tea for yourself, read a book, go hiking on your own, go shopping just with yourself, pamper yourself once in a while, kalau nak pamper hari hari pun, there’s nothing wrong with that. Love yourself so much to the extend that when you get treated less than that, you will know it, and you cut those people off. You dont deserve those kind treatments, you dont need those kind of energy in your life.

Toxic people will only bring you down, they will make you feel less about yourself, they will make you feel unappreciated and girl, no one deserves that. I’m not saying its bad to love anyone else, its not bad to fall in love but dont let them be your happiness because you are your own source of happiness and if you accept that, I can promise you that you will never lose sight of yourself and your own happiness. Out of all people, I know that self loving is not an easy process. It takes A LOT of time, a lot of energy and positive thinking and through this process, you will find out the people who are worth keeping in your life and people who you need to cut them off, for good and in this process, you will feel all kinds of emotions, you’ll feel like you are alone in this world, you’ll feel helpless and just lonely. But please, know that it will be very worth it in the end, just hold on, hold on to that little hope you have, please, I beg you.

All the pain and heartbreaks just makes me love & appreciate myself even more, my heart was never closed for love and never will be but at least now I appreciate myself even more, I can see the real people who are worth fighting for, the type people who I want in my life. I appreciate the skin I am in even more, eventhough not fully comfortable yet, but i’ll get there someday and because of this I never settle for anything less because i know the kind of people I want in my life.

Okay I kinda went off from the actual topic I wanted to talk about lmao anyway, self love comes first before the love you have for anyone else. I still struggle to love myself, maybe because we’ve been taught to always put other people first, to always impress our parents, to always jaga hati orang lain but siapa nak jaga hati kita kan? I guess that’s why we need self love, when you love yourself so much, loving & appreciating life itself will flow right through you.

Having this deep spiritual connection and a solid relationship with your inner self, will be the best thing you can ever do for yourself. I think thats when the real magic happens, when you have this deep self appreciation for yourself, the universe just conspires with you and takes you on this self discovering journey, you feel me here? I hope im not talking crap. The universe can sense the force of attraction in you and give back the love that was really meant for you, automatically you’ll attract all the love and good things around you.
good god, I love this.

Anyway, I have a test to study now. giving you all positive energy, I hope your days get better, I hope Allah eases your hardships, I hope Allah soothes your pain. Better things are yet to come, goodbye for now. Take care and Salam Eid-ul Fitri!

Lisaxoxo

Ramadhan went by way too fast this time. this year it felt, less special, less exciting, probably because i was way too busy with other things to actually stop and take a step back and enjoy this year’s Ramadhan. I actually wasted a lot of time too, slept a lot, did unproductive things, and just like that it passed by without me noticing, sad huh. This year has been a hell of a rollercoaster ride, and its only May! Can’t believe in 1 weeks we gonna celebrate Hari Raya Aidilfitri andddd finally i have some time to blog, i’ve been postponing it for a while! might be a short one tho.

As a kid, growing up I have always thought the concept of rezeki comes in the form of money; either its owning designer handbags, being able to afford to go on vacations, living in a big house and other materialistic things, but as I grow older, my perspective has definitely widen and I no longer see it through a one way path. rezeki comes in so many form that most of the time, i tend to overlook because maybe the things that has been presented to me were not what I wanted, not what I prayed for, not what my hearts craved for.

I guess unintentionally I’ve been brought up to think that money was the ultimate rezeki, to always pray for more money, to always aim for money, to always set money as my ultimate goal.now that I am 23, this concept of rezeki being more than just about filling up your bank account is starting to slowly creeping in.

Although I’ve been well aware of it, but it took me quite some time to grasp that idea, to fully understand it, although I still am struggling to get use to it, but there’s progress,as for now, what I believe rezeki is about being at peace with your mind,rezeki is being able to wake up in the morning, head to the kitchen for a glass of water, rezeki is being able to kiss your parents’ hands, to ask for their forgiveness, to have their blessings, rezeki is being able to buy your favourite food when you want it, being able to get in your car, go to the nearest cafe/restaurant and order immediately, rezeki is being able to smile out of the blue because you just felt content, you just felt at ease rezeki comes in so many form that I always take for granted, I always complain yet never stop to take the time to say my gratitude, I always look at what I don’t have, at what I’m missing, to always peep in the empty hole when there are so many blessing that has been presented to me,

I decided to wrote this down because the other day, I was sighing and felt really sad & frustrated, I always have this tendency to whine over so many things, I am always in denial of my situation, I am always in denial of my own rezeki, I thought I deserved more and maybe I do, if I stopped complaining and just be fucking grateful,I am not only blessed with a loving family but just me, myself as a wholehonestly I had a whole other idea of where this post was going but now I’m just totally lost, but I hope you get my message here, maybe what you’ve been praying for all these while, Allah has already answered, but with a different presentation,you prayed for strength Allah gave you challenges, you prayed for comfort, you prayed for love and Allah gave you time, you prayed for peace and Allah gives you signs, the list could go on and on forever, but deep down your heart is fully aware, until next time my friends.

Lisaxoxo