One of the hardest pill to swallow is that you can never receive the amount of love you give,
no matter how much you pour your heart and soul, you will always get a little less,
either in terms of relationship, friendships, family or even your work life,
what you give you can never get back as much as you have gave,
once in a while you might get a little bit more than what you have invested, you’re a lucky one if so,
but eventually at the end of the day, thats the reality of life that I still have a hard time absorbing and fully understanding.
I am capable of so much love and affection, be it with my partner (one fine day maybe), friends, family even with the people I stumble upon every single day,
and most of the time I expect to be returned what I gave, to be treated how I treat them, to be cared how I cared for them, to be loved so immensely like how I love them,
but the truth hits me hard, and I learned my lesson.

Its unfair to them for me to expect so much,
different people are wired differently, act differently, love differently and its okay,
it doesn’t have to be the reason why I would love any less.

We’re merely humans anyway, we bend and break, the way we talk, eat, even the way we breathe is far from similar to each other,
a friend of mine once told me, just because my way of showing affection is different from the other person, does not mean he/she loves you any less, they just have a different love rhythm.
it’s a concept I still struggle to grasp, its still a new look to me, I have always been this kind of person who tries so hard to show people that I appreciate them, their efforts, their time,
I always try very hard to give back the love I received, and maybe pour out a little more, because I have so much love to spare, so much warmth to be shared.

No matter how hard you try to achieve that sense of desire, to fill in that gap,
you can never expect too much of anyone, they really don’t owe you anything,
what you can do is staying true to yourself, never differ from the path you hold on to,
“Promise that no matter how much pain the world gives you, never give the pain back to anyone” – A quote stumbled upon,

Until next time my friends, stay hydrated!

Lisaxoxo

People say that a year can change you so much and I couldn’t agree more. 2019 has definitely molded me into becoming this new version of me; still clumsy at best, but a bit polished than before. Anyway, 2019 will be leaving us soon (ehek! Few more hours sajee sis!) and I thought what better way to bid goodbye other than sharing what the year has taught you, no?

1. Times wait for no one
   I learned it the hard way and I never did learned my lesson until this very month. Don’t let time leave you, make the most out of your time and learn to manage it WELL.
2. It gets better.
   One thing to remember, even in the worst of things, even if you were placed in the darkest of pit, it gets better.
3. Just because everyone agrees to an opinion, it doesn’t make it right.
   A popular opinion is not necessarily right. Even when the majority of people vouch for it, if it’s wrong then don’t be afraid to say so.
4. Everyone is struggling with something.
   Just because they do not rub their problems all over your face, it does not mean that they’re not struggling. Everyone is struggling with something even if it’s not to a high degree. Check on your “happiest” and “strongest” of friends, they’re usually the one who suffers the most.
5. Crying is not weak.
   I don’t cry. I forbid myself from doing so. But some parts of this year were so tough that I can’t help but to just breakdown – and it’s okay. Crying doesn’t make you weak, you are a human after all, give yourself a break.
6. Don’t be afraid to TRY.
   Honestly, what stops us from getting to our dream is our fears. Do not let your fears stop you. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears.
7. Appreciate those that is around you.
   You will never know how much longer God will lend them to you. Death isn’t the only thing that will take someone away from you, life can too. My Degree life sometimes might be harder sometimes it just okkkk bcs I don’t have my Dependable Girls with me and for that, I learn to appreciate every moments that I’ve spent with them a lot more. But, you know having new bestfriends like Pait, Wan & Cekpah have though me that im not alone and for sure I ❤ three of you!
8. Words are sharper than any swords.
   We should always be mindful of the words that may come out from our mouth because words can hurt you more than anything. Be mindful, be kind – you don’t know how much your words could effects people.
9. Be humble.
   Ibu once said that ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity and pride is the burden of a foolish person. It is easy to feel proud of the things that we’re good at which thus help feed our ego. But there are other people who can do it better than us too, which is why it’s important to be humble and be open to learn more even on the things that you have mastered.
10. Learn something new, everyday.
    Read, kids and stay in school! Well.. knowledge is not confined in schools or universities or any education institutions only, it is everywhere! One should NEVER stop learning – you will be surprised at how little you know of things.
11. Consistency is gold.
    Be consistent in EVERYTHING. It helps and will benefits you, a lot.
12. Don’t laugh at other people’s mistakes or sins.
    How sure are you that you will never do the same mistakes that they do? They say that the sins that you mock today, may be the ones you commit on the next – food for thought 🙂

El finale of my 18 lessons —

Different years teaches you different things and in every years that have passed, you will find yourself changing – it’s inevitable. Good bye 2019, you have taught me well. Here’s the final lessons of mine and as always, do share yours 🙂

13. A broken heart is a gift.
    Anonymous once said that “you have to keep breaking your heart until it opens” and I cannot agree more. It is through our broken hearts will we learn to appreciate things even more, and it even taught us to be strong. Being broken-hearted is a humbling process as well because that is the moment where we will realize that we’re mere mortals, so helpless and so powerless after all.
14. Stay authentic.
    We live in a time where we tend to idolize those who seems to have it all but nothing is better than authenticity. You can always pick on the good traits of those people and admire them, but we should never try to BE them, as Ayah once said. Because again, everyone has a certain an intangible quality that makes something distinctive and attractive (in a way that ayah ayah talk la :p)
15. People WILL disappoint you.
    Be it your family or friends, they WILL disappoint you and hurts your feelings. But again, they are nothing but a normal human being with a limited understanding of anything but themselves — very much like you.
16. It is OKAY to fail
    A lot of us are afraid to fail but we often forget that we cannot succeed without failing at the start. Failure is good, learn from it and grow from it.
17. Give more
    There’s nothing more pleasing than the art of giving. Give more, you would be surprised at how much you will have with you.
18. Kindness and humanity is still here.
    With everything that we see, it is impossible to believe that humanity and kindness is still here. But as impossible as it sounds, it’s very much present. You just need to look at things more closely and if by then you can’t find any still, then be one. Be the reason for people to believe in humanity, again.

Happy new year, everyone! May 2020 be a better year for you 😉

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Be safe on this new year’s eve!

Lisaxoxo