I have entered the tenth week of my semester.

Well, what else to say to that?

Nothing except for the fact that I have a lot of pending assignments, and so little time to waste.

But here I am, procrastinating.

I want to blame everything else but myself. Because it is easier to blame everything else, but yourself. Pretty much like how it was easier for Sierra from Sierra Burgess is a Loser to blame her lack of society’s standard of beauty rather than the fact that she is a crappy person.

But that’s off the point.

I remembered in my earlier semester, I mentioned that “my motivation for this semester is myself” ? Hah, very funny.

Also remember how I said I wanted to do better this semester!

Hah, hilarious. 

Sorry guys, for this is yet another emotional post.

Anyway, back to the topic, why on earth am I writing this?

Well, other than the fact that I am procrastinating from doing my actual work yet again, I am writing this to call myself out for being a total slacker these past few weeks.

I learned that one of the ways to improve yourself is to first, acknowledging your flaws and admitting it. So in my case, I acknowledge the fact that I am a total slacker and I admit that I am indeed a total slacker.

If you don’t know what does the word “slacker” even mean, here’s it is;

“Slacker”

– noun

• a person who avoids work.
• a person who do works with the least amount of effort.

Other words that can be used to define the word “slacker” are as follows:

• lazy bum
• quitter
• good-for-nothing (wow thanks, thesaurus.)

Well, you get the picture.

I honestly have nothing much to say, but I am so disappointed in myself.

But then again, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. Yes you suck but what will you get if you keep on saying all of these bad things to yourself and punishing yourself for being human?

Yes, you get lazy sometimes but that doesn’t make you a bad person. Life is all about making choices everyday anyway. What makes you a good-for-nothing human being is your choice to stay at the same spot after realizing the fact that you are doing something wrong with your life. So move your bum, sweetie.

You see, having to know about your flaws is a blessing from God, honestly. Because now that we know about the craps that lies within ourselves, we can do our best to change and improve ourselves for the better. (and make sure you actually do something to be better!!!!)

I know that I have less than four weeks to get my life together, but I can do this.

I have to do this.

So to all of my fellow slackers out there, I think this is the time for you to start calling yourself out too and then remember to improve yourself to at least be a better person or less of a slacker than you were yesterday.

Oh, also this video kinda helped me to put things in perspective so go on, have a watch!

Good luck,

 Lisaxoxo

Ps: If I don’t get my life together within this week, can someone smack my head with a non-stick frying pan? Yes, this message is for you best fren – I know you are reading this, thanks in advance!

Hye Assalamualaikum,

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning. But anyone can start today and make a new ending.
I know there is no good to be regret but if only time can be change. I personally wont reply to any of your texts if the outcome would be like this. What a precious but not belong to me anymore and i still cant move on because i still do love you till this moment. I always remind myself sometimes those who fly solo have the strongest wings. Its gonnna hurt me to hate you, but loving you is worse, i let you go not because i didnt love you but because i love myself more. My past teach me how to be strongest person in this world. I put all my heart, love, myself, and also my life on you but i get nothing. I let you go not because i already have someone new.  Its because i dont want to hurt my heart again.

Trust me the best thing to have in your life is a girl who truly loves you. I think i was the girl who VERY LOVE MY BF. But i love too much till its hurt. When a girl truly falls for boy, she does anything and everything to keep him happy.

There isnt any doubt that girls are more emotional than guys. But when it comes to making their guy happy, they dont think once before keeping their emotional needs or their expectation aside.

If a girl truly falls for a guy, every other guys in the world become invisible to her. she sets her eyes at the guy she loves and she doesnt ever bother looking for anyone else.

It doesnt matter what she does all day, he will always be in her mind. she will keep on thinking about him. and she will spend her entire day waiting to get free so she can finally be with him.

It doesnt matter how busy she is. she will always take sometime out just to tell him that she misses him.

If a girl truly falls for a guy she will instantly start planning about future. She will start seeing a forever in him and she will do anything to achieve it with him by her side.

She will always keep his self respect above everything in her life. She will respect him and his choices more than anything else. and most important she will make him feel good about himself.

It doesnt matter, if the guy didnt appreciate their girl. No matter how big they give if they not appreciate it they will not appreciate it. Things might be diferrent when we are no longer friends. We used to be one of the cutest friendship that people envy of. but today, we en up being strangers as how i knew you for the first time.   Nevermind, as long as you still alive get yourself together and be happy. Forget past, more better will come. When you feel this wordl is too much to bear, get away from it all; devote your time to the Almighty. Pour your heart out and feel the peace. Thats all i can do for now.

Surely my lord is with me. He will guide me through. Dont lose hope just because one person.

No, this is not the beginning of new chapter in my life. This is the beginning of new book! That frist book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is first page! and it is a beautiful one.

Last, before 2019 end up and 2020 coming. I hope in 2020 to come,  you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you are doing something.

For my before, i thank you very much because you give me so much memories in my life and also teaching me pain that never be heal. The scars will be beautiful in my heart. Thank you, i wish you will find that special person that will love you and all your quirks and weirdness, laugh with you during the difficult ones. Someone who will encourage you to be a better version of yourself. Dont worry, the wait will be worth it. I will be happy even you not with me. I still love you.

Till then,

Lisaxoxo